2.19.2011

Lynn Jones, 1986 Topps

Name: Lynn Jones
Team: Kansas City Royals
Position: Outfield
Value of card: A pouch full of beard trimmings
Key 1985 stat: 11 beatings of people making fun of his name
1986 Topps, you did it again: A classic card from a classic set of a classy dude with a classic woman's name. Wow. This card has it all. It packs about 50 "busts" within its edges, and yet appears simple and straightforward. Forget the puns and lists and other regurgitated crappola you usually find on The Bust. All we need to do is point out the range of awesomeness contained in this card. First, the guy's name is "Lynn." Lynn is a beast of a dude. He appears to always be flexing and looks like he could snap a neck between his thighs. His bulge? It's what you'd expect on such an impressive card: prominent, oblong and dignified. That's not all. Jones rocked a beard that by all accounts was the most "boss" grown by anyone ever named "Lynn." It's no surprise he was listening to a Kenny Loggins' cassette when this photo was taken. Then, of course, there's the glasses. Grandmothers across the nation wore the same pair. We salute you, Lynn and 1986 Topps, for showing us that sometimes perfection can be attained without trying.

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