2.17.2011

Howie Long, 1991 Fleer Pro-Visions (Football Friday No. 72)

Name: Howie Long
Team: Los Angeles Raiders
Position: Defensive end
Value of card: 268 lbs. of hunk
Key 1990 stat: Two gigantic veins
The essence of a man: Look at Howie Long. Women want him, men want to be him, and artists want to draw him. The bulging, rippling arm muscles. The cropped, well-manicured blond hair. The jaunty neck pads. The steely gaze that reminds us of Slider from "Top Gun." The incredibly defined arm veins. The bullet marks in the wall behind him. The slightly torn jersey that only hints at the oiled chest below. The suggestively untucked belt that hints at, well, you know. It's likely no coincidence the artist stopped just above the crotch. He probably couldn't bring himself to draw that bulge. Some things are simply not for children's eyes.
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