1.04.2011

Turk Wendell, 1994 Upper Deck

Name: Turk Wendell
Team: Chicago Cubs
Value of card: Not as high as Wendell
Key 1993 stat: 36-inch vertical leap
Top 10 descriptions of how high Turk Wendell is:
10) Remember the last time you 'shroomed? He's higher than that.
9) He's approximately 14 times as high as his mullet is long.
8) High enough to brush his teeth between innings.
7) He had enough time in the air to come up with the name "Turk."
6) This high: "Whoa, bro. How'd I get up here?"
5) High enough to think the illustration of the pitcher in the bottom-left corner is a real person.
4) He was literally in the Upper Deck.
3) As high as his invisible surfboard would take him.
2) High enough to believe the baseline is made of anthrax.
1) One answer: Check out those high-tops.

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3 comments:

  1. 11.) not as high as he was before jumping from the mezzanine roof.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Coach said, "Jump!" but he didn't say I could come down!!!

    ReplyDelete