12.28.2010

Kimera Bartee, 1996 Fleer Ultra

Name: Kimera Bartee, if you can believe it
Team: Detroit Tigers
Positions: Outfield; on one knee
Value of card: $5 in advertising for whoever owns that gigantic tower beyond center field
Key 1995 stat: No paper trail
Man of mystery: We don't know much about Kimera Bartee. He was obviously using a false name when this picture was taken, and the Tigers organization denies any knowledge that he ever actually existed. Here's what we do know about this enigma of a question mark:
  • He wore a fake mustache.
  • He believed having his photo taken would steal his soul. Or get him killed. One of those.
  • He refused to be outside when other people were around.
  • He loved raisins.
  • He never really learned how to hold a bat.
  • After this photo was taken, he changed his name to the only moniker more ridiculous than the one he had already chosen: Wonderful Monds.

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