12.19.2010

John McNally 1992 U.S. OlympiCards (Alternative Sports Week No. 1)

Name: John McNally
Team: The Team with the Goddamn Guns, That's Who
Position: Shooter
Value of card: All the money in the bank McNally just robbed
Key 1991 stat: 25 killed, hundreds wounded
Welcome to Alternative Sports Week: The world of terrible sports cards goes far beyond baseball, football and basketball. Through Christmas, the Bust will bring you wrestlers, hockey players, weight lifters and this guy, John "Shooter" McNally. Happy frickin' holidays.
Don't mess with McNally: "What's that, waitress, you don't have Dr. Pepper? Do you have it when a gun is in your grill?" "Oh, excuse me, barber, you think this mustache should be trimmed a bit? Why don't you recommend that to Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson?" That's right, John McNally was a hard-ass. He carried a gun at all times, pulled it out whenever he felt like it and used it at a moment's notice. His Olympic sport? Bustin' caps in fools' asses. The 5-foot-2, 145-pound accountant from Wichita, Kan., was the most feared man at the Barcelona Games in 1992. He robbed the Dream Team of their gold medals and their bling. With two bullets, he made the nations of the former Soviet Union compete as the Unified team. He pointed his trusty piece at Dick Ebersol while standing at a urinal and made "skeet shooting" NBC's prime-time event for eight straight days. In 1992, John McNally took aim at greatness, and with a fire in his belly and a firearm in his grip, he shot and scored.
One more thing: That gun is pointed at you, punk. Keep reading.

Share/Save/Bookmark

1 comment: