12.05.2010

Greg Pirkl, 1992 Bowman

Name: Greg Pirkl
Team: Seattle Mariners
Position: First base
Value of card: Moth dung from an old jacket's pocket
Key 1991 stat: 14 fluid ounces of hair gel
10 captions for this photo:
10) Does Greg Pirkl shop at The Men's Wearhouse? I guarantee it.
9) In handwriting: "Thanks, Mom. I love my senior portrait!"
8) Greg Pirkl, above, sports the latest fashion trend, a sport coat from your father's closet.
7) Hi, I'm Greg Pirkl. I like baseball and snuggling, and I'm looking for that special someone.
6) Pirkl: In need of a vowel or two since 1992.
5) What team do I play for? Doesn't matter. Let's talk positions, sweetheart.
4) From community newspaper: Greg Pirkl has been named Freedom Ford's salesman of the year. "I want to thank my girlfriend, my homies and the Lord almighty above," he said. "And, of course, this honor wouldn't have been possible without my two-home run game in the homecoming game senior year. Go Eagles! Wooo!"
3) More zits than RBIs, two years running.
2) "Beverly Hills, 90210" extra head shot, circa 1991
1) Never cool. Not even in '92.

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