12.31.2010

Geronimo Pena, 1992 Topps

Name: Geronimo Pena
Team: St. Louis Cardinals
Position: Second base
Value of card: Carpal tunnel syndrome
Key 1991 stat: Nobody knew what he looked like
Misadventures in Photoshop: Two years had passed since Topps' much-criticized Photoshop series involving Twins pine-rider Al Newman. The staffers at Topps, of course, had learned nothing. Late one night, drunk on peppermint schnapps and cherry-flavored vodka, the photo editors decided to 'shop out the face of Cardinals utility infielder Geronimo Pena and replace it with random people. Above we see Topps janitor Felipe Jimenez. Most of the faces that made it to print were more well-known, including Bruce Springsteen, "Ghost" co-stars Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze, Abraham Lincoln and Santa Claus. Controversy erupted, and "Road House" star Swayze went so far as to sue Topps, saying, "If I were a baseball player, you'd better damn well believe I'd hit more than five home runs."
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