Dave Parker, 1991 Topps Traded

Name: Dave Parker
Team: California Angels
Position: Designated hitter
Value of card: One vending-machine comb
Key 1990 stat: 402 bowel movements
Dave Parker's train of thought from 5:21 to 5:22 p.m., May 3, 1991: "Crap! I can't believe I got lost coming back from the bathroom. I mean, sure, I took my time, smoking cigarettes and reading my new issue of American Beard Enthusiast, but I'm the DH, dammit. I don't need to be in the dugout every inning. But here I am, the game is over, and I couldn't even find the hot dog man. This is more embarrassing than that time in Pittsburgh when I had to wear a football helmet. I hate California."


  1. http://classonave.blogspot.com/2010/12/dave-parker-1978-topps.html

  2. Are we sure that he is not holding a Hustler Magazine? Or maybe proof that the Earth is totally flat as opposed to the shit they taught us at school so that we become as ignorant and retarded as a 1989 Fleer Guy who wrote his nickname in the knob of a bat, right, Billy "Fuck Face" Ripken!?!?!