11.26.2010

Todd Noel and John Oliver, 1997 Topps Draft Picks

Names: Todd Noel, John Oliver
Teams: Chicago Cubs, Cincinnati Reds
Positions: Pitcher, Outfield
Value of card: Phlegm
Key 1996 stats: Two dudes, one cup (shared)
The Matchup takes on the youngsters:

Round 1: Mr. T-size gold necklace (Winner: Noel)
Round 2: Freakishly large hands (Winner: Oliver)
Round 3: A name perfect for the holidays (Winner: Noel)
Round 4: Posing in a way that gets the ladies hot (Winner: Oliver)
Round 5: Penchant for throwing like a girl (Winner: Noel)
Round 6: Transparent mesh jersey (Winner: Tie)
Round 7: Ears the size of pancakes (Winner: Oliver)
Round 8: Dreams of big leagues vanquished (Winner: Tie)
Round 9: Taking-a-dump look (Winner: Noel)

Score: Noel 4, Oliver 3, Ties 2

Synopsis: It's like Christmastime for Noel, who scored the most points, but no one really wins because both of these chaps never reached the big leagues.

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