Jeff Schwarz, 1994 Topps Stadium Club

Name: Jeff Schwarz
Team: Chicago White Sox
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Half a spacebuck
Key 1993 stat: Twice went to ludicrous speed
Top 10 printable lines from the greatest movie of all time, "Spaceballs":

10) You have the ring, and I see your Schwarz is as big as mine. Now, let's see how well you handle it.
9) They've gone to plaid!
8) I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
7) I'm a Mog. Half-man, half-dog. I'm my own best friend.
6) Or else Pizza is gonna send out for you.
5) What!? You went over my helmet?!
4) So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time.
3) What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
2) So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.
1) I hate it when I get my Schwarz twisted.

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