10.17.2010

Lance Parrish, 1996 Upper Deck Young at Heart

Name: Lance Parrish
Team: Toronto Blue Jays
Position: Catcher
Value of card: A handful of spilled Metamucil
Key 1995 stat: Two bad knees
Lies, damn lies and Lance Parrish: This card says Lance Parrish was young at heart in 1995. But how old was he, really?
  • Lance Parrish was so old, his first box score was in Roman numerals
  • Lance Parrish was so old, when he went to school, there was no history class
  • Lance Parrish was so old, he played catch with Jesus
  • Lance Parrish was so old, his first mitt was made of dinosaur hide
  • Lance Parrish was so old, his birth certificate said "Expired"
  • Lance Parrish was so old, he offered constructive criticism to Abner Doubleday
  • Lance Parrish was so old, he used to clock pitches with a sundial

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