10.21.2010

Derrick Thomas, 1991 Score Dream Team (Football Friday No. 57)

Name: Derrick Thomas
Team: Kansas City Chiefs
Positions: Linebarcker, male model
Value of card: No shirt
Key 1990 stat: Sacked everything that moved
What Derrick Thomas stands for:

Disrobed for this photo shoot.
Even though no one asked him to.
Rushed the passer like the passer owed him money.
Rape stare leaves us feeling a little uneasy.
In spite of the photos on this card, he was not constantly hunched over.
Chiefs were actually good, once upon a time.
Knuckles look nice and shiny here.

Thin mustache was the least intimidating thing about him.
Hall of Fame induction came far too soon.
Offensive linemen couldn't stop him, but a snowstorm did.
Moral of his story: Wear your seatbelt and don't speed.
AFC's most feared defender was actually just misunderstood.
Shaved every 15 minutes — and not just his face.
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2 comments:

  1. lol... that was pretty funny. shame he passed away so young... anyways... my guess is you didn't like early 90's proline portraits ;-) seems like half of them were naked in their photos

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  2. Nice and respectful, even if DT would've sacked you from heaven...

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