8.22.2010

Tom Lasorda, 1988 Topps

Name: Tom Lasorda
Team: Los Angeles Dodgers
Positions: Usually sitting, usually eating, sometimes napping
Value of card: Voucher for 20 percent off early bird special at Lil' Tony's Mamma Mia Italian Restaurant
Key 1987 stats: 147 over par, 147 pounds overweight
Clearing up some rumors about Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda:
  • Lasorda didn't touch himself on the field. He waited until he got in the golf cart.
  • Lasorda wasn't fast and slim. He was Slim-Fast.
  • Lasorda never snapped on a player. He only snapped belts.
  • Lasorda didn't play games. He made them.
  • Lasorda wasn't an Italian gangster. Who's askin' anyways, wise guy?
  • Lasorda didn't have a lazy eye. As you can see, nothing about him was lazy.
  • Lasorda didn't play golf. But, apparently, he had a stroke right before this photo was taken.

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