8.29.2010

Mark McGwire, 1989 Pepsi-Cola special edition

Name: Mark McGwire
Team: Not sure (Pepsi Soda-Stars?)
Position: Alone on the field
Value of card: Two ripped-off tabs from Pepsi cans
Key 1988 stat: 5 milliliters of high-fructose corn syrup
10 reasons this card is not the choice of the next generation:
10) After the photo shoot, McGwire had to have his legs amputated because his pants were so tight.
9) No mullet, no facial hair, no dice.
8) One person in the stands, and he's leaving.
7) McGwire actually conducted this photo shoot by himself with a tripod, a timer and three Coors Lights.
6) Yes, ladies, those stirrups go all the way up.
5) Lots of foul ground, more foul stench.
4) McGwire has never, ever stood like that during a game.
3) No A's logo, but Pepsi and Chevron are represented.
2) The infield dirt has been drug to resemble a giant penis starting between McGwire's legs.
1) McGwire was on Coke.

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