8.17.2010

Luis Delos Santos and Jim Campbell, 1989 Fleer

Names: Luis Delos (not "de los," mind you) Santos, Jim Campbell
Team: Kansas City Royals
Positions: Infielder, relief pitcher, respectively
Value of card: 1 cent for each bust
Key 1988 stats: Between the two of them, none
It's time for a gutter-trash version of The Matchup:

Round 1: Nose size (Winner: Santos)
Round 2: Beer gut potential (Winner: Campbell)
Round 3: Biggest necklace knot (Winner: Santos)
Round 4: Mullet flair (Winner: Campbell)
Round 5: Rape stare (Winner: Santos)
Round 6: Mustache hygiene (Winner: Campbell)
Round 7: Hair juice accumulated, one day (Winner: Santos)

Score: Santos 4, Campbell 3

Synopsis: Back and forth, back and forth. So it was in this epic Matchup between two Royals prospects who seemed to be in a race to decide who could flame out the fastest. In the end, Santos and his cheap, tangled jewelry proved that jheri curl can upset an unkempt mullet at the drop of a hat.

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