8.10.2010

Ed Whitson, 1990 Donruss Diamond Kings (Atrocious Diamond Kings Week No. 3)

Name: "Easy" Ed Whitson
Team: San Diego Padres
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Half a hit of acid to "breathe in" this card's background
Key 1989 stat: Who? Whitson? Can't find any key stats.
What makes this Diamond King so atrocious? Sure, the illustration is abysmal, especially Whitson's smaller-than-possible eyes, exaggerated wrinkles and curly kindergarten bangs. But what really puts this Diamond King in a D-league all its own is, simply, Whitson's inclusion as a Diamond King. Here's a guy who's best known for breaking Yankees manager Billy Martin's arm and two of his ribs, when Whitson was a Yankees starter. Was this brawl booze-fueled? For sure. Was Martin jealous of Whitson's unevenly weighted mustache? Maybe. Was Whitson so used to kicking ass on the field that it spilled into the hotel bar? No chance. A few choice career statistics: 126-123 record; 2,240 hits given up in 2,240 innings (wow); one pitching "angel" on his shoulder at all times, telling him, "You're the best, Ed, look to my drawn-in bulge for inspiration."

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