Bobby Bonilla's sunglasses, 1993 Upper Deck Illustration

Names: Bobby Bonilla, Bobby Bonilla's sunglasses
Team: New York Mets
Positions: Outfield, sunglasses
Value of card: One paint stain on your carpet
Key 1992 stats: 128 games played; zero times taken off
Train of thought by V. Wells, Upper Deck checklist artist, from 7:11 to 7:12 p.m., Jan. 4, 1993: "Let's see, Mets, Mets. ... Holy crap look at these sunglasses! So shiny. So manly. So futuristic. I must paint them. They're so graceful! Look at the sleek lines. They're the ultimate in reflection. I bet if I had a pair of these, I'd be more respected as a part-time baseball illustrator! ... Wait, what's this? There's a person in these photos? Damn you, Bobby Bonilla and your veiny arms! I swear by all that is holy on this Earth that I will make those sunglasses mine!"
Update: According to that bastion of information, the Internet, V. Wells, who has done many Upper Deck illustrations, is actually Vernon Wells Sr., father to current Toronto Blue Jays "star" Vernon Wells. Also, he never stole Bobby Bonilla's sunglasses.


1 comment:

  1. I think that the last time mirrorshades were considered futuristic was around 1974, and the last time they were even contemporaneously cool (for people other than cops or Blackwater private army guys) was about 1990.

    Alas, some out there think that they are both still cool and futuristic, besides Bobby Bonilla of 1993.