Name: Bill "The Bulge" Bergey
Team: Philadelphia Eagles
Position: Middle Linebacker
Value of card: If you adjust for (crotch) inflation, 2 cents
Key 1979 stat: One awkward dance before each game
10 things that could be stuffed down Bill Bergey's pants:
10) 66-pound cup
9) A mediocre baseball card blog's cup
8) A disco ball that's prompting him to dance
7) All the NFL's Astroturf
6) Shoulder pads for his "buddies"
5) The gameday football, and two other balls
4) A living, breathing eagle
3) A living, breathing Eagles player
2) An identical bulge to the disguised man behind him
1) Another beard
The real tragedy is that to make the card, they cut Bill's dance partner, Frank LeMaster, right out of the photo. They both used to shake a mean pre-game version of the Hustle together.
ReplyDeleteTwo factoids:
1) The Hustle is not easy in full pads
2) Disco flute is perhaps the most underrated musical element in the history of tune making