6.30.2010

Tim Drummond, 1990 Topps


Name: Tim Drummond
Team: Minnesota Twins
Position: Relief pitcher
Value of card: $1 on a 5-sack
Key 1989 stat: Three bongloads between innings
10 ways Tim Drummond gets stoned before games and photo sessions:
10) He hot-boxes the bullpen car.
9) He uses pipe resin instead of pine tar.
8) He rigs up a pitching machine bong.
7) He gets put on the disabled list with a "joint problem."
6) He hooks up with Twins farmhand Willie Mota.
5) The third-base coach gives him the "green" light.
4) He rolls blunts the size of bats and takes his "hacks."
3) His chewing tobacco has seeds and stems.
2) That's not a mustache. It's a cleverly disguised joint.
1) He steals a bag.

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