6.19.2010

Rich "Goose" Gossage, 1989 Topps

Name: Rich "Goose" Gossage
Team: Chicago Cubs
Position: Closer
Value of card: Junkyard handlebars from a rusty tricycle
Key 1988 stat: 12,831 "gooses" to teammates' backsides
Clearing up some rumors about Goose Gossage's mustache:
  • Gossage didn't call his facial hair a "handlebar mustache." He called it "The Whole Damn Motorcycle."
  • Gossage didn't always wear a handlebar mustache. Sometimes he flipped it over and wore sideburns and a beard.
  • Gossage didn't steer his motorcycle. His mustache did.
  • Gossage didn't wear a mouth guard. His mustache guarded it alone.
  • Gossage didn't use a razor to shave his face. He used a bazooka and band saw.
  • Gossage didn't eat. He was nourished by the power of the handlebar.

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1 comment:

  1. Also, because it was yellow, Green Lantern was unable to defeat him for years.

    Until now! Goose is now supar old and it turned grey! Green Lantern, here is your chance!

    ReplyDelete