Rich "Goose" Gossage, 1989 Topps

Name: Rich "Goose" Gossage
Team: Chicago Cubs
Position: Closer
Value of card: Junkyard handlebars from a rusty tricycle
Key 1988 stat: 12,831 "gooses" to teammates' backsides
Clearing up some rumors about Goose Gossage's mustache:
  • Gossage didn't call his facial hair a "handlebar mustache." He called it "The Whole Damn Motorcycle."
  • Gossage didn't always wear a handlebar mustache. Sometimes he flipped it over and wore sideburns and a beard.
  • Gossage didn't steer his motorcycle. His mustache did.
  • Gossage didn't wear a mouth guard. His mustache guarded it alone.
  • Gossage didn't use a razor to shave his face. He used a bazooka and band saw.
  • Gossage didn't eat. He was nourished by the power of the handlebar.


1 comment:

  1. Also, because it was yellow, Green Lantern was unable to defeat him for years.

    Until now! Goose is now supar old and it turned grey! Green Lantern, here is your chance!