Mike Mussina, 1991 Upper Deck

Name: Mike Mussina
Team: Baltimore Orioles
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: A pile of moose dung
Key 1990 stat: Zero complete mustaches
Orioles' scouting report on prospect Mike Mussina: Has four solid pitches, plus a couple of liquid ones. ... Mike is actually short for Michelle. I know, weird, huh? ... Wears too much cologne. ... Despite his nickname, has never had contact with a moose (at least, that he'll admit to). ... Not sure about his smarts. When told he'd be starting for the Suns, he asked "Point guard or power forward?" ... Makes a delicious green bean casserole. ... Patchy facial hair will never win over the ladies. ... Wrote something obscene on Billy Ripken's bat handle. ... He's probably going to be a stud, so make sure not to let him sign as a free agent with the Yankees!

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