6.11.2010

Brad Komminsk, 1988 Donruss

Name: Brad Komminsk
Team: Milwaukee Brewers
Positions: Outfield, designated hitter
Value of card: One VHS copy of "The Tonight Show" that aired Feb. 23, 1997
Key 1987 stat: 40 square feet of jowl
Top 10 things Brad Komminsk could do with that jaw:
10) Host a late-night talk show
9) Provide an African village with shade
8) Generate 5,000 watts of electricity just by chewing
7) Grow a beard large enough to challenge Jeff Reardon's
6) Cut it in half and donate it to some poor, jawless bastard
5) Plant shrubs on it
4) Protect humanity by deflecting asteroids
3) Store a metric ton's worth of acorns for winter
2) Stuff it with enough chew to kill Bigfoot
1) Inspire a cartoon character
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