Bobby Jones, 1993 Topps Coming Attractions

Name: Bobby Jones
Team: New York Mets
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: 99-cent rental at Blockbuster Video
Key 1992 stat: More strikeouts with girls than on the mound
Mets 1992 scouting report on Bobby Jones: "It's a good thing he can pitch, because he sucks at golf. ... In high school, reportedly ate his weight in popcorn shrimp at Red Lobster. ... Calls his fastball 'The Hairy Mother,' then laughs maniacally. May need some counseling. ... Among his hobbies: avid stamp collector, plays fantasy sports, eats deep-fried candy bars at the county fair. ... Claims to have invented the 10-seam fastball. ... Once got kicked out of a game for calling the home plate umpire 'mommy.' ... Smells vaguely of root beer. ... Plus fastball, plus changeup, plus-plus monobrow."


No comments:

Post a Comment