5.01.2010

Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire, 1993 Diamond Sports

Names: Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire
Teams: Oakland A's, Blues Bash Brothers
Positions: Outfield, first base, posers
Value of card: Definitely less than 10 cents
Key 1992 stat: One stolen police car
Top 10 most absurd things about this card (and believe us, there are more than 10):
10) Mark McGwire is no Blues Brother. The only situation in which he dances well is around the truth.
9) There's enough yellow on this card to blind an eagle.
8) Honestly, what the hell is it with those gigantic bats?
7) Half of the police car's tire has been Photoshopped out.
6) This is the only time in his life that Jose Canseco has worn a jacket AND a shirt.
5) These two are in fact on a mission from God. That mission is to inject themselves with enough steroids to kill a rhinoceros.
4) McGwire loves country music, but is indifferent to Western. Canseco only likes yacht rock.
3) Even though it says this is the March edition of Diamond Sports, everyone knows it came out in April.
2) Neither Canseco nor McGwire could hold John Belushi's jock.
1) Both of these guys actually like Illinois Nazis.
Share/Save/Bookmark

1 comment: