Randy Johnson, 2010 Topps (2010 Week, No. 1)

Name: Randy Johnson
Team: San Francisco Giants
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Seven feet of leg
Key 2009 stat: One headline made
Play ball! All this week, we'll mercilessly mock highlight cards from the new 2010 Topps set. And what better place to start than with someone who won't be playing this year? Let the season begin!
Smooth like buttah: The grace. The ease. The fluidity of motion. This is Randy Johnson, pitcher, dancer, inspiration. Sure, his sheer size may have been intimidating to some hitters, but many batters also often found themselves in awe of the elegance with which the Big Unit moved. And anyone who ever saw the big fella run the bases can attest to his poise. Now that he has retired, we at the Bust are proud to break the news that Randy Johnson has signed on to perform with the San Francisco Ballet company. That's right, the Big Unit is now the Big Tutu. Get your tickets here.

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