John Franco, 1988 Topps

Name: John Franco
Team: Cincinnati Reds
Position: Closer
Value of card: Two pieces of pocket lint from thrift-store pants
Key 1987 stat: 30 teammates antagonized
Putting the "jerk" in jerkface: John Franco was a scumbag. Rather than working on his screwball during practice, the pitcher would sit as close as he could to the batting cages, fart and then snicker as the hitters would try and fight through his "Brooklyn Bombs" during BP. Everybody was able to laugh off this childish prank — that is, until Franco stole Chris Sabo's glasses one morning, as seen in this photo. Sabo, unable to see without his face windshield, snapped when Franco decided to break wind during his hitting session. Sabo charged out of the cage and at Franco, wielding his bat and following Franco's hideous scent. Franco, terrified for his life, quickly turned his Cincinnati Reds pants into something more resembling the Cleveland Browns.

1 comment:

  1. He looks like Scott Baio's older, differently abled brother, after suffering a stroke. And happily crapping his pants.