3.18.2010

Larry Johnson, 1991-92 Skybox (Basketball Week No. 2)

Name: Larry Johnson
Team: Charlotte Hornets
Position: Forward (in more ways than one)
Value of card: Six gold teeth
Key 1990-91 stat: 12 assists (from fashion consultants)
Larry Johnson's stream of consciousness, 9:43 to 9:45 a.m. Aug. 28, 1991: "What? What is this photographer saying? I can't hear him over my shirt. Man, I do look good, though. All this money they're giving me is going straight to radical duds, like these pants. White pants are great. They accentuate the bulge. Speaking of which, I should lift up my leg. Oh, yeah, that's the ticket. Gosh, this radioactive basketball they gave me sure is hot. I hope it's not melting my penicillin allergy bracelet. It burns! It burns! It burns! Good thing I gots so much ice in my gold teeth. Boo-ya! Forget what Mama said, a diamond-studded gold grill was a good use of $44,000. You know what else is awesome, the line I shaved in my hair. Boo-ya!"

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