3.12.2010

Cecil Fielder, 1992 Upper Deck

Name: Cecil Fielder
Team: Detroit Tigers
Position: First base, designated hitter
Value of card: 2 pounds of bird seed
Key 1991 stat: Seven lawn chairs snapped
The ABCs of this card:
A - Animal attraction
B - Baseball, not flirting
C - Chicken says, "Nothing fowl about me."
D - Detroit, a city where laws of love are broken
E - Eggs, promised as part of breakfast in bed
F - Feathers, for tickling
G - "Get your hand off my knee."
H - "How come you don't like me?"
I - "It's a matter of taste."
J - "Just like chicken, of course."
K - Keister, comfortable in a lawn chair
L - Look of longing from the Chicken
M - Mustache, for tickling
N - Never mind cultural decorum
O - On my knees, at your service
P - Pillow talk: cluck, cluck, cluck
Q - Questions of decency arise
R - Right here, right now
S - Suggestive water bottle placement
T - Tiger in the sack, according to rumors
U - Undressing from uniforms and feathers
V - Vulgar sweet nothings, whispered in ears
W - "White meat for you, dark meat for me."
X - X-rated
Y - You can't explain lust

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1 comment:

  1. I demand more A-Z lists. This is excellent work!

    ReplyDelete