Andre Dawson, 1993 Upper Deck

Name: Andre "The Hawk" Dawson
Team: Chicago Cubs
Position: Outfield
Value of card: An afternoon of laughter by teammates
Key 1992 stat: 239 clumsy stumbles
The Hawk says it's pop quiz time:

What caused Andre Dawson to fall?

(A) His massive flip-up glasses weighed him down.
(B) He was attacked by a hawk that didn't approve of his nickname.
(C) It's not Dawson; it's three players dressed like him whose homoerotic conga line went wrong.
(D) At his advanced age, he mistook a brick wall for third base.
(E) He slipped on the tears of title drought-weary Cubs fans.
(F) All of the above.