Jay Baller, 1988 Topps

Name: Jay Baller
Team: Chicago Cubs
Position: Relief pitcher
Value of card: It ain't nothin' to a baller
Key 1987 stat: 1,154 hair curls
10 reasons Jay Baller was a baller in 1988:
10) He conditioned his thousand-curl mullet with truffle oil.
9) That's not dirt on his hat; that's the blood of an endangered panda he ate for lunch.
8) His mustache was spun into gold by Rumpelstiltskin.
7) His V-neck dipped below his belly button.
6) He squinted like Clint Eastwood at all times.
5) He broke the law.
4) His teeth were razor-sharp from eating diamonds.
3) Many reasons, none of which was baseball.
2) He wore a necklace. And so did his chest hair.
1) It says so on his baseball card.

Card submitted by Greg Schindler



  1. There is just too much hair on this card.

  2. Definitely have this card in my collection. Looks like they snapped this picture after he raked the bullpen at spring training.