1.25.2010

Kenny Lofton, 1995 Donruss Diamond Kings

Name: Kenny Lofton
Team: Cleveland Indians
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Nine splotches of paint
Key 1994 stat: One work of "art"
10 questions poised after seeing this card:

10) Why is toxic ooze pouring out of the back of Lofton's neck?
9) Is camouflage a normal color for one's face, or is it a new race?
8) Why is Lofton wearing a woman's sweater, circa 1989?
7) How stoned was this guy "Perez," the artist?
6) Is Lofton surprised he's being painted, or just embarrassed?
5) Wasn't this same concept used in two dozen blaxploitation films in the 1970s?
4) Why is Lofton's hat as wide as his shoulders?
3) With the obvious use of mascara, doesn't this qualify more as a "Diamond Queen"?
2) Why is part of Lofton's mustache missing?
1) Are we supposed to be impressed with this garbage?

Share/Save/Bookmark

No comments:

Post a Comment