12.11.2009

Glenallen Hill, 1993 Upper Deck

Name: Glenallen Hill
Team: Cleveland Indians
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Whatever Mr. Hill wants to pay is OK with us
Key 1992 stat: 26 asses kicked
Time for another pop quiz:

Why is Glenallen Hill so angry?

(A) A fan in the first deck yelled, "Hey, Hill, you and Alex Cole should keep the massages in the bedroom!"
(B) Goddamn it, he's sick and tired of having two first names in one.
(C) He can't believe the armband manufacturer ripped him off and gave him "half-bands."
(D) He doesn't have a radical pair of Oakley Blades like Alex Cole's.
(E) His silver chain is so heavy it's weighing down the left side of his body, causing discomfort in his bulge.
(F) The photographer asked for his "fury" look.
(G) All of the above.

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2 comments:

  1. The jealousy spanned by reason D is also the reason that the Indians only went to the World Series after Cole left.

    It's also why the Pirates lost game 7 of the 1992 NLCS. Cole started and was taken out after 2 at bats. Disgruntled, he sat on the bench and refused to take off his shades. Even though the glare from them was right in Stan Belinda's face.

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  2. Stan Belinda: Never trust a pitcher with one man's name and one woman's name.

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