11.20.2009

Michael Jordan, 1991 Upper Deck

Name: Michael Jordan
Teams: Chicago White Sox, Chicago Bulls
Positions: Batting practice bum, guard
Value of card: Blackjack!
Key 1990 stat: Blackjack!
10 reasons Michael Jordan isn't a baseball player:
10) He wears a dress belt with baseball pants.
9) He double-dribbles on groundouts.
8) It's hard to stick out your tongue and take a Red Man.
7) Blackjack!
6) He sings every time he swings (see above).
5) Charlie Sheen requires too much time in underwear-modeling sessions.
4) There's nothing exciting about a "sacrifice dunk."
3) In batting practice, "nothing but net" isn't a good thing.
2) Scottie Pippen prefers badminton.
1) "Error" Jordan isn't a good nickname.

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