11.04.2009

Kenny Lofton, 1993 Upper Deck

Name: Kenny Lofton
Team: Cleveland Indians
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Hmm ...
Key 1992 stat: Hmm ...
Kenny Lofton's stream of consciousness, 2:47 to 2:48 p.m. June 6, 1992 (above): "What are these contraptions? They look like eyeglasses, but the lenses are black. Why would one wear these? Ooh, shiny. Look how long my fingers are. I better polish these black eyeglasses. Ooh, shiny. Oh. My. Gosh. I can see my reflection in these black eyeglasses. Smile, Kenny. You're so silly. Ooh, shiny. Why would one wear these black eyeglasses? Perhaps to protect one's eyes from the sun? That's it. What was that noise? Oh, Paul Sorrento is barking like a dog with his pants off again. Don't stare, Kenny. Don't stare. You're not attracted to that. Just keep looking at these black eyeglasses. Ooh, shiny."

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