11.16.2009

Jim Palmer, 1984 Topps Purina Dog Chow insert

Name: Jim Palmer
Team: Baltimore Orioles
Position: Ace
Value of card: Four globs of shaving cream
Key 1983 stat: Two glistening cheeks
Script from Barbasol television commercial, circa 1984: "Hi there, sports fans, Jim Palmer here. You know I've had some close shaves on the mound through the years. (Cut to shot of Palmer on the mound; batted ball whizzes past his head; close-up of Palmer mouthing the word, "Wowsers.") But nothing compares to the close shave I get with Barbasol. (Holds up can of Barbasol shaving cream, smiles wide, tooth glistens.) Without Barbasol, every day can be a rough outing (close-up of Palmer running his hand up a stubbled cheek), and no one wants that. I've experienced success on the diamond, partly thanks to my razor-sharp control. But off the field, my success comes from my razor and a can of thick and rich Original Barbasol. So, trust me, fellas, be a team player (woman's arms reach over Palmer's shoulders; her hands start rubbing his cheek; he laughs with bravado) and pick up a can of Barbasol. It's a home run every time."

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