11.09.2009

Dan Walters, 1993 Fleer

Name: Dan Walters
Team: San Diego Padres
Position: Catcher
Value of card: This much (hold hands 2 inches apart)
Key 1992 stat: 418 straight minutes squatting
10 things the photographer could have said to make Walters pose this way:
10) "OK, let's make sure your junk is on display for the kiddies."
9) "Because you're a baseball player, pretend like you're about to catch a football."
8) "Show me those gaps between your teeth, tiger."
7) "Try to look as unathletic as possible."
6) "Act like you're approaching a pretty lady at the bar."
5) "Those are radical armbands, dude. We should show them off."
4) "Demonstrate how never to catch a baseball."
3) "Let's role play: Pretend you're a midget at a nudist colony."
2) "Show me on one hand how many hits you had last season."
1) "Pretend you're taking a dump."

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2 comments:

  1. After Dan retired from baseball he became a San Diego policeman. One day responding to a domestic violence he was shot and run over and is now paralyzed from the neck down.

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  2. This post is no longer funny.

    ReplyDelete