9.14.2009

Ted Power, 1990 Topps

Name: Ted Power
Team: St. Louis Cardinals
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: The power of Ted
Key 1989 stat: Ten potential endings
Choose your own adventure: You are Ted Power, private detective by day, major league starter by night. When you're not tracking down criminals, you're throwing nasty splitters and change-ups. It's August 1989 and you're pitching the best game of your season. It's the top of the ninth and your team is up 2-0 thanks to a two-run jack from Pedro Guerrero. You're trying for the complete-game shutout, but suddenly the umpire has tightened the strike zone. You walk R.J. Reynolds and give up a bloop single to Mike "Spanky" Lavalliere, but bounce back to strike out the next two. Barry Bonds is striding to the plate and you see manager Whitey Herzog waddling out of the dugout. "This is it," you think, "he's gonna pull me. I was so freaking close!" But ol' Whitey just says, "Strike him out, kid." Re-energized, you look to the stands, where your wife, Helen, always sits. But something's wrong. Her face is pale and someone is standing too close to her. It's Knuckles Brannigan, the man you put away for a series of burglaries in 1981. You see a glint of steel near Helen's neck, but it's not her necklace — it's a knife. You look this deranged lunatic in the face and see him mouth two words: "Blow it." You realize this degenerate, who has likely bet on the Pirates, is going to kill your wife if you don't serve up a go-ahead home run. A flurry of choices runs through your head.

To throw an 85-mph fastball down the heart of the plate, allowing Bonds to win the game, click here.
To alert stadium security to the situation, click here.
To try and knock the blade out of Knuckles' hand with a heater, click here.
To realize your wife is a constant nag and that you haven't really loved her since she cheated on you four years ago, and therefore complete the shutout, click here.
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