9.24.2009

Joe Klecko, 1986 Topps (Football Friday No. 14)

Name: Joe Klecko
Team: New York Jets
Positions: Nose tackle, monster
Value of card: One $5 gift card to Barnes & Noble
Key 1985 stat: One fivehead
It's alive: Jets coach Joe Walton needed a nose tackle in 1985, but no one on his roster fit the bill. An abundance of linebackers, ends and copies of Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" left the coach with but one choice: building his own runstopper. He surreptitiously signed a handful of undrafted rookie free agents and harvested their best features, including three foreheads, to create the best nose tackle in the league. Kleckostein, despite having eyes without pupils, dominated the league, recording 7 1/2 sacks and frightening everyone around him. But upon discovering the horrific truth at the end of the season, NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle ordered Walton to destroy his inhuman creation. Walton refused, instead fleeing with Kleckostein one night to the wilds of northern Canada. The two live there to this day, tackling moose, bears and caribou to make ends meet.
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