Trent Dilfer, 1994 Flair Wave of the Future (Football Friday No. 10)

Name: Trent Dilfer
Team: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Position: Quarterback
Value of card: 3.5 grams
Key 1993 stat: 139 times wondered why water is so wet
Serving suggestion: Take at least 2.5 grams of shrooms before looking at this card. It'll mess you up!
Two hours later: Oh my god. What is going on back there? It's, like, life. Look at it breathe! I mean, wait. What is he holding? Is that a baby? Why are his hands so fat? I bet his pants taste like a Creamsicle. Oh, that sounds good. His skin must be made of paper. God, that's frightening. Mmmm, the background makes me warm. Wait, 12? What does 12 mean? Geez, it just keeps going, doesn't it? I think I see myself in his helmet. Whoa.

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