8.09.2009

Mark McGwire, 1991 Fleer Illustration

Name: Mark McGwire
Team: Oakland A's, America
Position: First base
Value of card: You can't put a price on freedom
Key 1990 stat: Zero pinkos befriended
These colors don't run: How American was Mark McGwire during his playing days? Mark McGwire was so American that all of his meals consisted of hot dogs, apple pie and beer. Mark McGwire was so American, he drove a monster truck through a wheat field to every game, even if it meant going thousands of miles out of his way. Mark McGwire was so freaking American that he sang the national anthem before, during and after every game. He was so American that he loved his mother so much, he had her cloned and married her. He was so American that he shot off fireworks every day, because for Americans, every day is Independece Day. He was so American that he made out with the Statue of Liberty. How American was Mark McGwire? He was so damn American that he threw a silver dollar across the Potomac, body-slammed Hitler and remembered the Alamo, all in one motion. USA! USA! USA!
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