8.17.2009

Ken Phelps, 1990 Topps

Name: Ken Phelps
Team: Oakland A's
Position: Designated hitter/Walrus
Value of card: One bucket
Key 1989 stat: Eight tricks learned
Will play for fish: After a World Series championship in 1989, Oakland A's General Manager Sandy Alderson was already looking for ways to stay ahead of the pack the next season. While on a family vacation to SeaWorld that winter, Alderson was amazed by one act in particular: a baseball-playing walrus named Kenny. The sea mammal could do everything with a bat that reserve outfielder Billy Beane could, only with more power. Alderson jumped out of his seat, climbed into the walrus pen and signed Kenny to a two-year deal worth $1 million in cash and $1 million in sardines. Kenny, of course, had to make some sacrifices, wearing movie-screen size glasses, having his tusks removed and being relegated to the designated hitter role because of his slow-flipperedness. But the experiment came to a tragic end one July night when Mariners reliever Dave Burba plunked Kenny in the moustache. Kenny, always hot-tempered and in the middle of mating season, charged the mound, trampled Burba and sent three other Mariners to the hospital. The big walrus, banned from the game, took a bus back to SeaWorld, where he now serves as a spokesmodel.
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1 comment:

  1. Too bad he didn't succeed, we could have enjoyed such Disney films as "Major League Walrus" and "Sardines in the Dugout."

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