Dave Parker, 1991 Upper Deck checklist

Name: Dave Parker
Team: Milwaukee Brewers
Position: Designated hitter
Value of card: One pack of Big League Chew, vintage 1990
Key 1990 stat: 2 metric tons of bubble gum chewed
Sticky, icky: Dave "The Cobra" Parker spent just one year with Milwaukee, but his presence was never forgotten. Parker had put on about 30 pounds and become unpleasant to be around after quitting smoking in 1989. The only way he seemed to cope was with a wad of pink bubble gum pinched in his cheek. Pack after pack of Big League Chew would disappear into Parker's maw, and by the end of a game, his beard would be a half-pink, half-black bushy mess. The remnants of his impressive bubbles would often stick in his facial hair, but rather than trimming them out or shaving the beard altogether, Parker would color over them with a magic marker. By the end of the season, his facial fuzz was so coated with old gum and ink it had hardened into a type of protective chin strap, earning The Cobra another nickname: Helmet face.

1 comment:

  1. It's a drawing of him hitting a ball in front of a drawing of him blowing a bubble ? My brain hurts.