7.10.2009

Ken Griffey Jr., 1992 Donruss Triple Play

Name: Ken Griffey Jr.
Team: Seattle Mariners
Positions: Outfield, Magician
Value of card: The coin behind your ear
Key 1991 stat: 24 assistants sawed in half
The Great Griffey: At the tender age of 21, Ken Griffey Jr. was already becoming a superstar with the Seattle Mariners. His raw talent was spectacular, but a large part of his success came from magic. As shown on this card, when Griffey would get tired of swinging the bat, he could still knock the ball 550 feet by levitating the lumber. His teammate father would at times chide The Kid for linking batting doughnuts together and turning Jay "Bone" Buhner into a sea lion. As Griffey grew older and more powerful on the field, his wizardry also gained strength. In 1996, he outdueled David Copperfield for the right to spend a night with the beautiful Claudia Schiffer. When an up-and-coming illusionist named Teller accused Griffey of using his powers irresponsibly, Junior stole the man's voice and gave it to a mute orphan from Vancouver. Griffey began putting on elaborate stage shows involving pumas and flamethrowers, and started a raging love affair with his mysterious gypsy assistant. But when the slugger was traded to Cincinnati prior to the 2000 season, the scorned woman cursed her lover from the waist down, turning his knees and hamstrings into egg shells and taking the pop out of his "bat." In 2009, Griffey returned to Seattle in an attempt to reverse the jinx, only to learn the gypsy had been mauled to death by a blood-thirsty sea lion with a goatee.

Card contributed by Miranda Everitt Stenger

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