7.11.2009

Bill Wegman, 1992 Topps Stadium Club

Name: Bill Wegman
Team: Milwaukee Brewers
Positions: Pitcher, pitchman
Value of card: The cost of a postage stamp
Key 1991 stat: 3 inches "grown"
Mr. Wegman makes his pitch: After winning 15 games with a 2.84 ERA in 1991, Bill Wegman signed on to promote a fledgling pharmaceutical company he knew little about. When he first heard ExtenZe could enhance that certain part of a male body, he was skeptical, but thought, "This could be fun." After six months of swallowing little blue pills, Wegman had become the cock of the walk.
Script from Wegman's TV commerical: "Male enhancement. Two years ago, scientists had no idea the power contained in this little blue pill. Before I started taking ExtenZe, I could barely bring myself to walk in the clubhouse shower. Women flocked to my more manly teammates, like Rob Deer, Robin Yount and Ron Robinson, but the word was out that my cup wasn't exactly running over. Now, I have to keep this black 'Topps Stadium Club' sign with my name on it in front of my groin at all times to avoid tarnishing a child's innocence. ExtenZe will work for you, too, or we'll send you your money back. If it didn't work, could we afford to do this? Call now. You've got nothing to lose, but a lot to gain."

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