Willie Mota, 1989 Star

Name: Willie Mota
Team: Elizabethton Twins
Positions: Catcher, Dealer
Value of card: Dime bag
Key 1988 stat: 12,234 bong hits
Big league stoner: In Spanish, "mota" is slang for marijuana. In baseball, "Willie Mota" is slang for playing stoned. Mota never played a major league game, and, as only a pothead could do, he somehow didn't record one official stat in 1988. According to court and police records obtained by Baseball Card Bust, Mota admitted to "taking fat bongloads" before, during and after every game and practice since he was 13. This is obvious in the above photo.
A stoned scout's analysis: "Dude, this guy's name means weed, man. He is like totally stoned all the time, man. He doesn't have blazin' speed, ya know, but he does have budding ability. He's a righty and ... um ... what was I saying? Mota. I love saying that. Mooo-taaaa. Mooo-taaaa. Yeah man, this dude plays better on grass. Holy toledo, man. I said he plays better on grass. Ha-ha.
Fun fact: What seems to be a baseball bat in the above photo is actually a joint.
Fun fact, No. 2: Mota says his favorite color is pizza.