Tim Wallach, 1992 Topps Stadium Club

Name: Tim Wallach
Team: Montreal Expos
Position: Third base
Value of card: One deep thought
Key 1991 stat: Six space-age gadgets
Inspector Gadget: Tim Wallach loves technology. Let's count all the then-modern marvels that Mr. Wallach has on display in this 1992 card. There's the baseball cell phone he's talking on, a lightweight miracle from a time when phones were so heavy, players had assistants hold them while they carried on conversations. His uniform is made out of a space-age material resistant to both wrinkles and dirt, so no matter how many grounders Wallach dives for, he'll always come up cleaner than Craig Counsell's steroid test results. His nifty armband doubles as a Nintendo controller. His hat is actually a Flowbee. He's wearing a mask that makes him look like movie stars from the future — in this case, Luke Wilson.
What about those bats in the background? Those aren't actually there — they're holograms produced by a chip Wallach had implanted in his brain.



  1. Hello? Hello!? Hello?? I can't get signal on my ball in this studio.

  2. I'll trade you any Chris Sabo you want for that card.