Bobby Bonilla, 1992 Rembrandt Ultra Pro

Name: Bobby Cosby Bonilla
Team: New York Mets
Positions: Outfield, team doctor
Value of card: One Cosbylike sweater-shirt
Key 1992 stat: 197 Jello Pudding Pops eaten (spring training only)
The doctor is out: Bobby Bonilla showed up to spring training in 1992 a changed man. It was his first season with New York, and he was coming off a career high in batting average, slugging percentage and 1980s sweaters. The Mets knew they were paying for a heavy hitter; they did not know they were paying for a Bill Cosby impersonator. Bobby Bo, as he's known, greeted all his new teammates at spring training with, "Hey, hey, hey! Flippity-flop, the Jello puddin' pop! I'm Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable." Of course, nobody took him seriously — except the gullible John Franco. Bonilla, or "Cliff," persuaded Franco and his wife to let him deliver their second child, due two months later. Their teammates were incredulous, but the plan probably would have gone ahead as scheduled if not for one thing. Franco and his wife, Rose, had decided to name their unborn son J.J., but Bonilla insisted they name him Theo. The two ballplayers got in a series of fights over the moniker, and the Francos decided to go back to their original doctor. A crushed Bonilla missed three days of practice. Teammate Howard Johnson went to visit Bobby Bo at his apartment, only to find him sitting shirtless, weeping and surrounded by hundreds of empty plastic pudding cups.
Note: Bonilla does actually have legs. He's just wearing invisible pants in this photo.

1 comment:

  1. Yeah, Bonilla is wearing jeans ... and the legs are creased like a pair of slacks. Odd.

    Theo v. Bonilla would be awesome.